I took my troubles down to Madame Rue.
You know that gypsy with the gold-capped tooth.
She's got a pad down on Thirty-Fourth and Vine,
Sellin' little bottles of Love Potion Number Nine.

I told her that I was a flop with chicks.
I'd been this way since 1956.
She looked at my palm and she made a magic sign.
She said "What you need is Love Potion Number Nine".

She bent down and turned around and gave me a wink,
She said "I'm gonna make it up right here in the sink".
It smelled like turpentine, it looked like Indian ink,
I held my nose, I closed my eyes, I took a drink.

I didn't know if it was day or night.
I started kissin' everything in sight.
But when I kissed a cop down on Thirty-Fourth and Vine,
He broke my little bottle of Love Potion Number Nine

[Solo]

I held my nose, I closed my eyes, I took a drink.

I didn't know if it was day or night.
I started kissin' everything in sight.
But when I kissed a cop down on Thirty-Fourth and Vine,
He broke my little bottle of Love Potion Number Nine.